Lee Byrns and me in Glasgow, Scotland AND reality...
I was with Lee Byrns going to a swimming pool, but the pool was at the Los Angeles airport and the airport was across the street from the beach and we were both naked. We were clowning, wrestling and laughing (as always with Lee) until I realized I didn't want to be naked in public. So, I stealthily headed back to my car to get my clothes. But I couldn't find the car. It dawned on me that since I had no clothes, I had no pockets for keys. That meant I probably left the keys in the car and it might have been stolen. I was so stressed about it. More and more people started driving by and wandering around me. I didn't know what to do so I retreated to sit, cross-legged, in a grassy corner near an old wooden shed and covered myself up as best I could.
Next a group of around 20 pink Swedish tourists of all ages (also naked) congregated around me. A tour guide started talking about the history of the shack I was sitting next to and I realized I had been in that shack before and talked to the proprietor who showed me old fashioned movie cameras and told me all about the movies that had been made there. Laurel and Hardy had filmed comedies in that shack. I got on a tour bus with the Swedes and we circled the shack talking about it. I finally exited the bus wrapped in a flowery beach towel I'd inherited on the short ride, and walked up and down the beach looking for my car.
By now I was almost sure the car had been stolen. Still I walked on. I reached the end of the beach and was faced with a huge craggy wall of sand stone, which I climbed. Parts of the mountain resembled the giant hands of the Statue of Liberty. The sun was setting and it was beautiful orange and red coming out of blue, but the surface of the mountain kept crumbling in my hands, as I got higher. I was struggling to hold on. Finally, in a voice which, at the time, I could clearly identify as Scarlet O’Hara’s from Gone With The Wind, I declared, "If I am to die here and now, then you might as well go on and take me!" But instead an eagle flew by and winked at me. I knew I'd be OK then.
Back on the ground I walked what had become a wharf at sunset. But now all the architecture was cartoons. I ran up the stairs of a lopsided three-story apartment building and fell out of the front window where I was suspended by my ankles that were tangled in a Venetian blind. A huge cartoon goon on the second floor yanked me in through his window and accused me of complaining about his cooking. He asked if I was making fun of his veal. I said it was rather tough (even though I hadn’t had any). He asked if I could do better? I said, “yeah”. I then carefully prepared a veal cutlet which goon ate gratefully as I quietly left his apartment. On the beach at night, I could still hear Lee laughing. Then my iPhone alarm woke me up with the Marimba ring tone.
